Guide to What Not To Do While Naked

• Saw a tree down (saw dust up the ying yang)
        Same for sitting directly on the sand at the beach
  
• Golf (sun burn) (especially the shoulders)
        That swing could be hampered or it could cause permanent injury.
  
• Paint a house (paint up the...well, you know)
        Rubbing turpentine on certain areas of the anatomy could be hazardous to your health. Not to mention unfomfortable.
  
• Over haul a tractor trailer rig (too many truckers on the road too long)
        And all that leaning could lead to things getting caught.
        Of course, a nice leather apron-----
        And then there is the problem of the back view, which could be distracting for other motorists.
  
• Catch a train (leaping between train cars, breeze may be too strong)
        Or you may distract the conductor or engineer and they may hit a wrong switch. Stranger accidents have happened.
  
• Sky dive (parachute straps may chafe)
        (and then you have NO IDEA WHERE YOU'LL LAND)
        Actually, a couple already did this - sky dive in the nude - to be married
        She cheated and wore full make up and a veil, he had a top hat.
        But if you are not planning to be married and have a large support team to get under you as it were-----
  
• Go shopping.
        Somehow I don't think Albertson's staff would ever recover. Or Safeway's. Or Piggly-Wiggly.
     
• Drive to LA.
        You might be fine walking around naked in LA - you might not even get noticed - but sitting in a car all that way----
        Bakersfield is alien in more ways than one.
  
• Go to College
        It's been done. In Berkley. They did finally get him to wear pants.
        Sitting on a chair a naked guy has occupied was revolting to some.
        Couldn't expect the college to follow him around with disinfectant now could you?
  

Copyright 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 by Donnamaie E.White for this story.
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