| March 28, 2001 Go buy some eyelash glue - and single strip eyelashes. The best way to put them on is to use tweezers to hold them and put them in place. Pepper is sending me fake eyelashes. She sent me instructions....... Pepper's instructions on how not to glue your eyelashes together when putting on false eyelashes. With my comments of course. Pepper has a husband to play with. I have to be content with my post-chemo son. Pity the poor boy! (But not too much, he has a tendency to send me to my room if I'm bad.)1. a. Light vanilla candles all over the place. Mood is everything. Of course - I like purple - lavender to be exact. And lavender is romantic. Purple goes with passion. One must either have some in one's life or learn to fake it! b. Remove all of your clothes. This has to be done in the nude. (Trust me - it's better that way.) After realizing that I had grown out of my size LARGE gym clothes, as a result of 8 months sitting by my son's bedside in the hospital, nude is not a recommended option for me at this time. It is approximately 30-40 lbs. off range. No, about 60. Of course, on realizing this, I immediately made a pizza. 2. After putting on all your eye makeup, including eyeliner, doing your hair, and having everything laid out, ..... you take one lash from the box, place a little bit of glue on your finger tip and spread a thin line across it. Blow on it a little to make it tacky. If a man is there, turn to his ear and blow on him, too. (see how sexy this can be?) Of course, the man is one other thing to have laid out. OK - I can practice this on my younger son. He's disabled and can't get away too fast. The walker slows him down. Laying him out is something that I routinely do anyway. And cover him. And snuggle him. And cuddle him. And pat his fuzzy head (his hair is growing back). Mother's who nearly lose their sons must touch them at regular intervals. And run and hide when he's had about enough of that! 3. Take the tweezers and pick them up in the middle. Set them gently down on your eyelid, tapping one end first and then the next with the tweezers, or you can just push them with the tweezers. Try to fend off the man into whose ear you have just blown. This won't be easy. You have that right. He gets so annoyed when I blow a raspberry on his belly! (If you do not have children and have never blown a raspberry on a baby's tummy and heard them squeal, you will not understand this. Works for big boys too.) 4. Repeat the same step with the other eyelash. And his other ear. Bald cancer patients have no defense whatsoever. He's at my mercy! Of course, he can throw pillows fairly well. 5. It dries quickly so if one side isn't on straight, move it now or you'll look cockeyed. By now the man molesting you is looking fairly cockeyed, too. Only if I haven't managed to place him on the bed. He's only cockeyed when trying to walk unaided. (Actually - by 2003 - he's back to stumbling around the college campus so he's harder to catch.) 6. Bat your eyes slowly, lick your lips, see him grin and do the wild thing. No - that part I must skip - I could get arrested with only my son to play with. Besides, I have to bathe this boy as often as possible. Should not encourage the little rascal. He's wit is sufficiently returned. And he retaliates so well........ See how fun and natural wearing false eyelashes can be? I've enjoyed them SO MUCH! I'm wondering who I should be batting my eyes at. Of course, at my age, false eyelashes are required. (60 is 9 months away.) Mine have just about disappeared. I noticed that when my son's fell out he looked like a little old man. When they grew back in, his face returned. I take the hint! He has hair returning since the dosage was lowered. It's hard to run your fingers through peach fuzz. But I try. |
The Naked Housewifetm Project is the property of Donnamaie E. White and Pepper Gregory.
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