Journal Entries:

June 15, 2002

Guide to How to Lose Weight

  • Buy clothes that are a size bigger than you are. They will feel loose and you will feel thinner. Drapy things are best. Floaty things are sexy. Make them wonder.
  • Give up on panty hose (they roll) and body-suits (girdles). They make thigh-top stockings for when you need them that high. And knee-highs for when you don't.
  • Get bra extenders. Get bras that fit! You have to breathe!
  • Get shoes that suit your feet as they are now - if your feet don't hurt, you are not tired and depressed. Your feet grow all your life. Use this to buy new shoes periodically. Toss out the old ones. Your feet spread when you are heavy, even if temporary (like after the first few kids). They certainly get wide when you are heavy for a long time (like after the remaining kids). Figure 1/2 shoe size per pregnancy. Or per 10 years.
  • Try orthodics in your sneakers.
  • Go to bed early with a book and a bottle of water. Refuse to get up except for a potty-break. Or put a time-lock on the kitchen door. (Works if you live alone - or the whole family is dieting.)
  • When depressed, have a square of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate. This is the only kind that works. One-two squares. Not every night. Unless you are depressed every night. In which case, that would explain the weight problem. Find what depresses you and shoot it.
  • When hungry and it is not feeding time, have a spoonful of peanut butter. Do not use low-fat. They add sugar to it! Do not do this if you are allergic to peanut butter!
  • Do not use low-fat or no-fat foods or non-sugar foods. They add olestra in one of its many forms and you will need to wear Depends! You will also have gas. Imodium AD Advanced and GASX were created for those on these low/non-fat foods. They knew! (It may even tell you it may have a laxative effect - no kidding!) This mix is also in General Foods Coffees. I have no idea why!
  • Use a smaller plate.
  • Breast-feed.
  • Atkins works - even if you never get to the 14-day start-up 20 grams of carbs a day initial phase. It's slower that way but it still works.
  • Atkins never said not to count calories.
  • Get rid of the following: White rice, white flour, white sugar, any sugar, white potatoes, white bread. A donut is not part of the diet plan.
  • Red wine is. 1-2 glasses a day lowers bad chloresterol. So does eating red grapes. You can still drive a car after eating grapes.
  • Medifast has too many carb calroies. They added sugar to it. It causes headaches. And wild food binges. Use Revival Soy.
  • Drink water. Green tea. Black tea. Coffee. Yup - they now say that it helps.

Cooking to Lose Weight

  • Cheese (find, scrape off mold and eat) - cheese will fill you up fast - reduce cravings.Eat in 1oz servings.
  • Best omelete - Omega-3 eggs, heavy cream, cheese (grated) simmered until done. Skip the toast or keep to one slice.
  • Be an adaptable cook (what you are - substitute ingredients at will) - recipies are made to be altered.
  • You can reduce salt and sugar in a recipe and it will still work.
  • You can use Splenda in place of sugar and the recipe will still work.
  • You can use butter, olive oil and canola oil to cook with in place of CRISCO, margarine and vegetable oils.
  • Hot sauce is a recommended topping. Unless you made a chocolate cake. And you are not supposed to be baking.
  • Low-fat cooking is not low-carb cooking.

More Help for Dieters

  • No crash diets.
  • No Yo-Yo.
  • Reduce slowly.
  • Reduce calorie intake slowly. (Not too slowly, take a week or two to get down to the desired calorie level.)
  • Eat a balanced mix of foods.
  • Drink water. As in lots of.
  • Reduce Fat to 30% or less.
  • No-fat diets destroy your gall bladder.
  • Change the type of fat you do eat.
  • Eat during the day and not late at night.
  • Do not eat while watching TV.
  • Be sensible, your body will fight you.
  • Dieters loose immune system functions by 30-60%. Expect to catch a cold!
  • Get rest.
  • It's a total lifestyle change. Accept it.
  • Hang a full-length mirror in the kitchen and one next to the TV set. Place others where you will see them when you are at your worst - by the bathroom door, the bedroom, and room where you sit down - right across from where you sit. Stick mirrors on the refrigerator door. And on the freezer. Hang one in your office cubicle.
  • Don't buy what you should not be eating.
  • Eat before shopping.
  • Buy clothes that fit you now and look good. As you loose, buy other clothes or take in the ones you have (if you sew and if they can be taken in). Don't wear sacks. Use makeup.
  • Style your hair. Look good.
  • Don't buy clothes you will "loose a few pounds and fit in later". This pressure will guarantee you won't loose.
  • Don't throw away all the "big" clothes - store them. You may need them again. It will keep the pressure off you if you don't think you have to diet so you have something to wear. That's not the reason to loose weight.

Minimum Contents in Your Cupboards

  • Flour - whole wheat, and corn meal for cornbread
  • Pasta AnyTime - for that feed the man in the house panic
  • Spagetti - whole wheat - cooks longer - get used to it - actially nice with Portobello Mushroom sauce
  • Velveeta cheese package - for macaroni and cheese - or a block of Cheddar and a block of Montery Jack in the fridge
  • Sugar substitute - Equal, Sweet & Low or/and Splenda; some brown sugar for when you must
  • Olive oil, Canola oil - make the olive oil extra virgin
  • Raisins - they store well
  • Walnuts, almonds, some mixed nuts - for that time of the month
  • Chocolate - DARK - the only kind
  • Peanutbutter - big jar - crunchy is good, get the one with the least amount of added sugar. Yep - they add sugar to peanut butter. Or get a Vegematic mixer and make your own. (about $400).
  • Bread - stone ground whole wheat and similiar - get off white bread.
  • Jam - how did that sneak in there? Because I make my own and my tree was heavily laden. Sugar-free - fruit-only is a good thing. in tiny quantities on morning toast. Morning is the only time you can have carbs.
  • Baking powder and baking soda. For uses other than baking.
  • Salt - and sea salt. And lots of pepper.
  • Crisco - well, I do keep this around. I grease pans with it - oh, about once every 6 months.
  • Bottle or two of red wine.
  • Cans of tunafish
  • Bottles of spagetti sauce
  • Bottles of hot sauce
  • Baked whole-wheat crackers.
  • Packages of wild rice. Brown rice.
  • Cans of vegetables for when you run out of lettuce.

Anything else is considered extra.

Fridge

  • Milk - regular low-fat milk adds sugar to your diet
  • Cheese, well wrapped, vsarious NOT non-fat - use NATURAL
  • Eggs, Omega-3
  • Carrots, baby carrots ready to use.
  • Celery, comes in a package already trimmed. Wash and eat.
  • Onion, red, white, yellow
  • Garlic bulbs, including Elephant garlic
  • Lettuce, comes washed and chopped and pre-packaged. How easy can that be!
  • Olice-oil based salad dressing, watch the sugars
  • Mustard, hot
  • Ketchup, comes in flavors now
  • Relish, comes mixed with mustard
  • Jar of pickles,
  • Lunch meat
  • Sliced cheese to go with lunch meat
  • Bottle of opened hot sauce
  • Bottle of opened spagetti sauce

These are essential ingredients for survival.

Note that all these foods can, on occasion, turn on you.

Freezer

  • Hot Pockets and frozen pizzas for the men in the house. You stay away from them.
  • Ice cream - only the pure natural stuff. Serving size is one small scoop in very hot weather.
  • Ice cubes.
  • A few pieces of meat for dinner type cooking would be nice. Chicken tenders, salmon, shrimp.
  • A few bags of frozen vegetables.
  • Stir-Fry Diner things are handy. Watch the added sugar and salt.
  • For desperate times - I keep 1-2 Lean Cuisine handy.

Late Night snack

Chocolate. Special Dark Chocolate. No substitute.

Hot sauce and crackers are good for clearing the sinuses. Not after 9PM however.

Glass of red wine. Helps you sleep. Good excuse.

Guide to Cooking Naked

This is a little tricky with the popping grease of bacon, have good dear friend send you as lifesaving screen to cover the pan.

Of course, TWO people cooking naked together could be highly entertaining. You wil eat less. There won't be time.

Guide to Exercising Naked

Everything moving, flapping in numerous body parts makes you want to take a Polaroid of yourself and plaster it to fridge, naked, but you can't if you have children or expect company.

You cannot walk on a treadmill naked if your thighs rub together - use lycra shorts.

JUNO and numerous others have exercise clothing in our size! Replace annually. They make them in purple. Look for them.

You can lift weights naked - when home alone. It could get ugly otherwise.

Of course, bench-presing your significant other can always be done in the nude. More fun that way.


Copyright 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 by Donnamaie E.White for this story.
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